An Open Letter to Christians Upset About the Phil Robertson Brouhaha

Dear Christian, I know it’s very upsetting to hear that Phil Robertson was suspended from Duck Dynasty for his controversial anti-homosexuality comments. A&E should know better than to risk the wrath of red-blooded American conservatives. If you're upset about all this, here's what I'd like to say to you: A&E is a privately owned company that can do whatever they want. If they want to suspend Phil, they can. If they want to cancel Duck Dynasty, they can. It’s not like Read more

A Conversation With Jesus

Have you ever stopped and really imagined what it would be like to sit down, one-on-one with Jesus? Imagine sitting at the breakfast table before you head out to work, drinking your coffee; you hear a knock at the door and Jesus Christ is standing there: He doesn’t even have to say, “Hi, I’m Jesus” because I already knew who he was the moment I saw Him. There’s something about those eyes, they’re not what I expected. They’re so full Read more

Whose Body Is It Anyway?

My last blog post “All God’s Daughters Wear Bikinis?” has stirred up quite a reaction. It seems that modesty is an issue that needs to be addressed more often. I believe part of the reason for this longing is that there’s been a lack of teaching and instruction. I can honestly say that, as a man, it’s awkward to address the issue of modesty to a woman, but I believe it’s necessary. I truly believe that most young women Read more

All God's Daughters Wear Bikinis?

Let me ask a question to all the God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Christian women out there: Would you post a picture of yourself on Facebook in just your bra and panties? Would you let your daughter? A question to the God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Christian men: What would you think and feel if a woman walked up to you in the mall and took off her shirt and shorts and started talking to you in her underwear? Would you tell her to stop? Would Read more

The Worst Christian Tradition

I know this will upset some people, but it’s time to stop the worst tradition in the Christian Church. What could that be, you ask? The practice of washing people’s feet. In case you don’t know, Jesus washed the disciple’s feet before the Last Supper (John 13). Jesus even said, “And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet.” (John 13:14) Some church denominations have made this an ordinance. Other Read more

Media Feeding Frenzy & Racism

Why do we get so consistently played by the media? I sometimes feel like we’re living in an episode of “Punk’d” and Ashton Kutcher is going to run out laughing at us for getting caught up in another media feeding frenzy. The media and news outlets would have us believe that America is on the brink of race riots and civil war. Really? Interviewed after the trial, juror B37 told Anderson Cooper that the jurors had no idea the trial Read more

Today I Did Not Meet Jesus

Churches attract all kinds of interesting characters. Today, Jesus showed up. I don’t mean that in a spiritual “I found Jesus” way, I mean a guy calling himself “Jesus” actually came to our church. I tried to greet him even though he had headphones in, but when he saw me sticking my hand out to shake his hand, he only held up his palm and pointed at it. At first, I wondered if he was deaf and mute and Read more

Confession and Repentance

Throughout our entire lives, we will sin. This is a fact. Maybe if you’re a really righteous, super spiritual Christian, you might string together an amazing streak of two or three whole days without sinning! Congratulations. This is why we have to live in an ongoing state of confessing our sins and repenting before God. Confession and repentance is not a prayer you prayed one time, this is a lifestyle choice. This ongoing cycle does not reflect flakiness, but the opposite: Read more

The Bible Loves Science: Part 2

The Bible was inspired by God. It's obvious because it reveals scientific facts hundreds and sometimes thousands of years before men discovered these facts for themselves. It could have only been inspired by an all-knowing God who loves us. God and Medicine. 9. God told Abraham to circumcise male children on the eighth day of life. Circumcision is the only surgery described in the bible. “It is only in the last few decades that it has been found that the eighth day Read more

The Bible Loves Science

One might think that with scientific advances, the Bible would be ripped to shreds by opponents and secular academia. The Bible is a compilation of scripture that was written between about 4000 and 2000 years ago. Think of all the scientific misinformation that has been corrected in recent history. Not long ago scientists believed whole-heartedly that: the world was flat, blood-letting cured disease, the sun revolved around the earth, and that black people and women were less intelligent. Based on how Read more

How to Stop Valentine’s Day from Wrecking Your Relationship

Flowers and ChocolateValentine’s Day has noble origins. Valentinius was a Christian who married soldiers in secret because the emperor Claudius had forbidden it. Claudius wanted to grow his armies and he knew that dudes make better soldiers when they’re not thinking about inconveniences like…I don’t know…their families. Imagine that.

I know! Secret marriages! Super romantic! This has Nicholas Sparks written all over it! Get Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams on the phone, stat!

Flash-forward to the present and you have the most commercialized holiday in America. Let’s just lay all the cards on the table here. From a guy’s perspective, Valentine’s Day is the worst thing to ever happen to us…like ever. It’s a lose-lose-lose scenario.

Losing Option #1: You didn’t adequately romance the love of your life. Let’s say your efforts were underwhelming. Maybe you forgot to do anything. Maybe you just came home with the wrong token of expression. Well, game over, my friend. You just told your flame that you don’t even care about her, that she’s not important, and that your relationship is essentially dead.

Losing Option #2: Or, let’s say you went all out. You dropped a wad of cash and you’re going to show that girl that she’s your burning fire and your one desire! Maybe you made big plans, booked a getaway, or brought home a diamond (because it’s forever). As the night comes to a close with you glowing in the light of your victory, the last thought that will go through your mind as you drift off to sleep will be, “How do I top this next year?” Hint: You won’t.

untitledLosing option #3: You’re legitimately in love. Your relationship is great. But even though you love to do nice things for your sugar-bear, the joy of expressing your love is sucked into the vortex of commercialism and the societal expectations that you express your love on this particular day in a particular way. And let’s just be honest, you know deep down that Valentine’s Day isn’t about showing your girlfriend that you love her! No, no, no. It’s about proving love to your girlfriend’s girlfriends. Because women want to have other women see that they really are special to someone. What joy you would have taken from expressing your love is stolen yet again by expectations.

:: Score: Expectations-3, You- 0 ::

The truth is that if you have an unhealthy relationship, it will only be more blatantly obvious on a day like Valentine’s Day. A teddy-bear and chocolates aren’t going to leave her feeling suddenly satisfied when she’s got a 364-day love deficit built up. “Wow, I’ve been craving quality time and words of affirmation, but it turns out that I really just needed flowers,” said no woman ever.

3 Tips for cultivating romance that lasts

Manage expectations

Disappointment is born out of unmet expectations. Couples can manage expectations by living out a lifestyle of romance. Husbands: do you know that flowers and chocolate are available for sale all. year. long!? (And they cost way less at other times) Wives: Do you know that lingerie works on any day that ends with “y?” I’m just saying: why wait for a holiday to see fireworks!? Hello!!!

Couples should have an honest conversation about their expectations for Valentine’s Day at least two or three months in advance so that they can discuss what really matters before emotion enters the equation.

Cultivate biblical romance.

Men and women both have a role to play in creating a lasting culture of romance. The formula is found in scripture: “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Don’t get hung-up on the word “submit,” because it does not imply subservience. The idea here is to honor your husband. As you would respect and honor Jesus as the head of the Church, a wife should respect and honor her husband as the leader of her family. This idea is far-reaching and has great implications, but deep down, a man deeply craves the respect of the woman he loves more than anything.

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For men the standard is even higher: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” (Ephesians 5:25) There is nothing sexier than a husband that loves his wife or a wife that respects her husband. When you really boil down all of the great romance stories, they mirror this theme at the core: woman finds unconditional sacrificial love; and man gains the respect and honor he craves from the woman he has pursued.

Men should only pursue their wives for 365 days per year.

One reason a woman places hope in Valentine’s Day is because she is longing to finally be properly pursued. “Maybe today,” she thinks, “I’ll finally feel cherished and valued.” There is a longing in the soul of women to feel pursued. The same way that Jesus pursued His church, a husband is to pursue his wife. Jesus served His Church, He helped people in need, He led by example, He initiated relationship, He was gentle and strong, and He even died to save His church. A wise man would mirror Jesus’ example in his marriage. A woman who is being pursued Jesus-style is going to see Valentine’s Day as little more than an excuse to dress up.

Valentine’s Day should be nothing more than icing on the cake of a passionate romantic relationship.

Posted on by Ryan Visconti in Marriage, Men, Sex, Women Leave a comment

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